The Boink
by Jedi Goat
Summary: Marco gives Jake a dare at school. Jake doesn't like the results. Hints of JC, nothing more.


**The Boink**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

I'm an Animorph. What does that mean? Well, the short version is that I can morph, by acquiring an animal's DNA and then transforming into an exact copy of that creature. Weird, huh? It gets weirder. You see, my friends and I all have this power. It's our only weapon we have against the Yeerks, alien parasites who are slowly taking over Earth.

But, I'm not here to tell you about that.

I'm here to tell you about the worst day of my life. And no, strangely, it did not involve the Yeerks whatsoever.

It was a normal day. You'd think that Marco and I, standing at the bus stop in the pouring rain and waiting for the school bus, were ordinary teenagers. With bored, still tired eyes and slumped postures with our backpacks slung over our backs, we fulfilled the stereotypical image of a teenager completely.

Marco held both hands up over his head, joking, "Well, too bad this rain is going to mess up my cute hair."

I sighed. "You'd better be glad Rachel's not here, or she'd slap you."

Marco turned to me. "Lighten up, Jake." He dropped his voice. "I mean, we haven't heard from _them_ for a week! We should be relaxing."

"Worrying is more like it," I growled. It was true that the Yeerks hadn't leaked out any new schemes recently, which probably meant something very secretive was going on. I seemed to be the only Animorph concerned about it; either that, or no one else had brought it up. I was the leader, after all. Maybe they were expecting me to take control of it.

Abruptly Marco spoke. "I have a dare for you, Jake."

"What?" I blinked at him unfocusedly.

Marco sighed. "A dare. Y'know, to get your mind off things."

"Fine. What is it?" Any idea of Marco's probably wasn't a good one, but I wasn't in the mood to argue.

Marco grinned and I instantly regretted my decision. "The only word you can say all day is 'boink'."

'Boink'? Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all, if I don't talk, I mused. I nodded and said, "Oka-"

Marco waggled a finger. "Ah ah ah! What did I just tell you?"

I closed my mouth. 'Boink', I reminded myself firmly. "Boink," I told Marco.

Marco just smiled. "This ought to be fun."

Five silent minutes later, the bus screeched to a halt in front of us. I should dare Marco to be quiet some time, I thought, as revenge. Then he might shut up for a while.

Marco and I found our usual spot and sat down. As the bus moved off, the blond-haired girl in front of turned around. It was my cousin and fellow Animorph, Rachel.

"Hi Marco. Hi Jake," she said brightly.

"Boink," I answered. Rachel shot me an odd look.

"Jake says hi," explained Marco.

"Uh-huh," commented Rachel, facing the front again. "Boys," she muttered.

After the bus ride, we stepped out into the frigid rain once more. "Boink," I grumbled as I remembered we had PE first period. Outside.

Rachel, who was in a different homeroom, turned to us with a saucy smile. "Aren't you going out for gym this morning? Oh, that's too bad. Marco, I don't think any girls will want to go with a drowned rat to the dance."

Marco glared at her. "Ha ha. Very funny."

Rachel glanced at me. "What about you, Jake? Are you going with anyone to the Spring Dance?"

I shrugged, vaguely adding, "Boink."

At that moment the bell rang, and I hurried to get to my locker and to avoid the topic. The truth was, I knew who I _wanted_ to ask to the Spring Dance. But whether or not she would come to the dance was a completely different matter.

During gym, we played soccer in the rain. Half of the class decided not to participate, instead hanging around the edges of the soccer field, trying in vain to shield themselves from the down pouring sheets of rain.

I wanted a good mark in PE, so I joined in the match. It was Marco's team versus mine. We fought valiantly, more against the elements than against our opponents.

I squinted through the rain, spotting an opposing player racing up the field with the ball. I splashed after them.

Catching the other player off-guard, I sneaked the ball around them and charged toward the goal with it.

Suddenly, my feet slid in the mud and I toppled over backward to the ground. I grunted, feeling the wetness soaking in to my clothes.

A moment later the teacher and a group of hovering, worried students congregated above me. "Are you all right?" the teacher asked, crouching down beside me.

I raised myself cautiously out of the mud. "Boink," I assured the teacher.

The teacher frowned. "You should go see the nurse."

"Boink!" I said firmly, but I was already being ushered away from the field.

After an annoying conversation with the nurse ("Are you sure you're fine?" "Boink!"), I collected a hall pass and went to second period: Science.

We were learning about DNA. Too bad I already know too much about it, I thought grimly as the teacher began scrawling notes on the board.

An hour later, the bell released us to our next class. Math.

Marco and I sat in the back of the class. I knew for a fact that, unless we were fooling around, the teacher would ignore the people in the back row.

We were nearly halfway through our algebra lesson when Marco started goofing off. He tossed a paper airplane at a girl sitting a few rows in front of us, the words 'MARRY ME – Jake' in big block letters.

The teacher's eyes seemed to zero in on the plane. He snatched it up, read it with furrowed eyebrows, and called icily, "Mr. Jake?"

I hunkered down in my seat, wishing I could disappear. "Boink?" I asked miserably.

"Please answer the question on the board, and explain how you did it."

I raised my head, feeling the eyes of my classmates on me as I read the question. It was a cross-division. And worse, I knew how to do it. "Boink," I informed the teacher.

The teacher sighed. "You normally aren't a troublemaker, Jake, but you are no exception. Detention after school."

Many classes later, school was finally over. I took my time wandering through the crowd to my locker, waiting for the rush to disperse.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and turned to see Rachel and Cassie.

"Hi," Cassie said shyly.

"Boink," I said.

Rachel cleared her throat. "I, um, forgot something in Science. I'll be right back." As she disappeared in to the crowd, I vaguely realized that she had been lying. Rachel hadn't had science class today.

Cassie scuffed a foot on the ground. "Jake," she said nervously, "Would you like to go to the dance with me?"

I stared at her for a moment, unbelieving. Cassie? Going out to a social event instead of staying home and caring for the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic? I swallowed hard. "I- boink."

Silently, I cursed at Marco. I couldn't tell Cassie! Instead, I smiled and nodded. "Boink."

At that moment, Marco walked up. "Hey, Jake. You know, you can stop 'boink'ing now."

I sighed in relief. "Great." Turning to Cassie, I added, "I'd love to, Cassie. But now I have to go to a detention that was entirely Marco's fault."

Cassie's laugh and Marco's protests echoed after me as I headed down the hall.

The End

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